Guys you gotta help me! I was cleaning my room with the vacume cleaner and I was only wearin my boxers and my c0ck fell out and got sucked into the vacume!! I couldnt get it out no matter what I tried!
I know u ponces will think I was gettin a blo job from it but I dont need one cos I got my chicks to do that.
I called my mate and he started laughing so I slamed the phone down. I tried pulling my c0ck out but it hurt like hell. I thought if I sit there my erecton will go and itll shrink but it didnt work!
I turned the vacume off and unatached the hose. It was easier to get around but I still had the hose hangin off my knob! I tried blowin down the hose to try and make it pop out the other side but nothing worked.
My mum was gonna be back from Bingo soon and I had to do something quick. I tried to cover the hose with my baggy jeans but I couldnt get them on around the hose!
I thought if I put butter on it I can slip it out so I went down to the kitchen and started puttin butter on my cock. It was messy and went all on the floor and just then my mum arrived home!!!
I tried to run back upstairs but I slipped on the butter I dropped on the floor and I landed on my back. I hurt myself real bad but the worst part was my mum came in the kitchen and saw me lying on my back with the hose hangin off my c0ck!!
She started callin me a pervert and told me to get dressed but I couldnt and I had to tell her how it got stuck. I dont think she believes me.
I still couldnt get it off so the only thing we could do is go to the hospital. We dont have a car so my mum asked one of the neighbours to take us. I covered myself with a blanket but my mum already told him what I did and he kept laughing all the way there. He never spoke to me or anything cos he kept laugging. If I didnt have a hose stuck on my c0ck I would have punched him in the mouth!
It aint as though Im the only one who has done it before so he can shut the fock up!
I had to go to A and E and sit there in front of everyone. They were all laughin too. It sucked so bad! If it was a normal day I would have kicked all their asses and picked up some of the hot nurses. One of the nurses made a funny joke and said “Hello there big boy!” I reckon I could of pulled her but I wasnt in the mood.
Anyway the doctor got the hose off by using some cream and I went home. My mum wont talk to me now and said my gran and grandad would be ashamed of me if they were still alive. It is her birthday today and I gave her some chocolates and a card and she said she doesnt take presents from perverts and said I owe her a new vacume cleaner cos she aint gonna use that one any more.
I think all the neighbours know and its gonna get out everywhere. I am a big laughin stock and I dont know how I can get my reputation back! 😦 I am thinking of running away from home but I dont know where to go. Life sucks!!
Dr Beard - From Wimp to Pimp 