So Monday im tryin to hook up with this bird I know from college and I go do some jokes on her and say “Where yo hangin out tonight?” and she says she is havin dinner at this italian restrant with her bf and I think fock it she got a bf and this is a blow off! But this chick was digging me so Im standing there and I think fock this, fock my fear! An I say to her “Ill see you there” and I walk off.
I thought I will go and meet her and let thr jerkmonkey borefriend sit there and shut is godamn mouth when I hit on her. I put on my von dutch hat and tshirt and my baggie jeans and go to the restrant. The poncey waiter tried to stop me going in cos I dress too street and I tell him I got business to sort out with someone and push past him.
I see the girl I’m after sitting with her bf and I just go up and talk to her and I dont care what anyone says. She gets all embarrassed and tells me I should go and I say “you comin with me” and she is brushing me off. Then her bf asks who I am and I tell him to mind his business and I throw his meal over him and get out of there as fast as I can!
I made him look like a spastic in front of his girlfriend and I when I talk to her today she thinks I am a assh*le now and was saying I am retarded and I need treatment. I said she is cute when she is angry and she walked off but she will be back! Girls love the bad boys and what they say and what they think arent the same so if she hates u it means she’s into you.
So listen up everyone and if a girl says she has a bf say to yaself “fock fear” and make him look like a spaz and shelll be yours!
Dr Beard - From Wimp to Pimp 