Me & my mates went over the park on our bikes today. We were riding around and pulling wheelies and stuff, but we needed to sit down and rest so we sat on the grass eating our sandwiches – except Greg who ate a roast beef dinner cos his mum had already made it. Dave spotted 3 guys walking towards us. Gypsies!
They came over to us and started asking questions:
“What ya doing, Mush?” asked one. (gypos call everyone Mush)
“Just eating sandwiches but we gonna have to go before my dad comes looking for me” said Dave getting scared.
“Nice bike, I’ll buy it off ya” said another gypo.
“I can’t, my dad won’t let me sell it”.
“Just let me ride it, ok Mush?” he said,. He picked up Dave’s bike and sat on it.
“Yo Mush, what you eatin’?” the gypsy asked Greg.
“Just a beef dinner. Do you want some?”
“Na. How much money you got?”
“None, but I can go and get some if you want” Greg replied. He was scared too.
The gypsy on the bike said if they didn’t get some money now we’d all have a snake burn. I heard of Indian burns and a Snakebite and both were painful but I’d never heard of a snake burn before but Greg knew what they meant and he sat there trembling with fear and had tears in his eyes.
“Look mate I promise I’ll get you some money just please don’t give me a snake burn. Come on mate I ain’t done nothing to you.”
The gypsy turned Dave’s bike upside down so the wheels were in the air and started winding the peddles really fast. The other two gypsies grabbed Greg pulled his trousers down and pushed him against the spinning bike wheel causing it to graze against dick!! It made a really horrible grinding noise and Greg screamed out in pain!
They did it again and I decided to make a run for it. I jumped on my bike and rode off as fast as I could leaving Dave and Greg behind. They probably thought I was a coward but I was going to get help.
I returned to the scene as fast as I could with my grandad but by this time Dave and Greg were lying on the grass crying and holding their burning cocks. The gypsies had gone and so had Dave and Greg’s bikes!!
We got back to my place and my grandad called the cops but the cops don’t like to deal with gypsies, so the bikes are probably gone forever. Bastards!
If the cops don’t deal with this problem im gonna deal with it myself! It’s always the same. Whenever we go out we get bullied by gypsies and get our stuff stolen and I’ve had enough!! I want them to know they can’t try this on us any more and I’m looking for ways we can protect ourselves. If anyone has any ideas let me know in the comments.
Dr Beard - From Wimp to Pimp 